So you think you're ready to move in together. I mean, sleepovers every night, cooking dinner together, decorating a new space, sounds exciting, right? As fun and exciting, it is to move in with your significant other there are a few things you need to take into consideration before jumping right into it.
Hi friends!
If you're new around here, I recently moved in with my boyfriend. It's been a little over 3 months now since I have moved in and although there have been some bumps along the way, it has been great so far! This move was pretty quick and unexpected and if you want to know more details on our living situation I broke it all down in this blog post.
I know everyone has their own opinions on when the right time is to move in with your significant other but I think at the end of the day you have to do what you feel is right and when both of you feel you are ready. For me personally, I've known that I wanted to live with my significant other for a bit before we would decide to take the next step of considering marriage just to know beforehand if we would be the right fit. The topic of living together has been brought up casually in our relationship, but it was something we didn't have on our radar until further down the line for a variety of reasons... until COVID happen. With the pandemic and a variety of other factors, our timeline of moving in together got a bit sped up than we had planned (and sooner than what my parents were expecting, lol sorry mom and dad), but it all ultimately worked out in the end.
As exciting as it was to plan to move in together, it is a big step to take and there were quite a few things we had to take into consideration such as finances, ground rules, how are we going to deal with arguments, personal space, etc. Even though we still have a lot to learn and adjust to with living together, I thought I'd share some tea on what it's like moving in with your significant other, what to know beforehand, and things you should discuss and consider before making the move.
THE WHY
WHY are you moving in together? Are you ready to take the next step into your relationship? For financial convenience? Your lease is up at your apartment in the middle of a global pandemic and your hours got cut so you can't afford a place of your own and haven't had time to find a new roommate? Ok, maybe that last one only applied to me, but whatever the reasoning is, you need to make sure the both of you are ready to sit down and be on the same page because once you move in together it's going to be hard to decide you two can't live together and still be together.
HAVE A PLAN IF THINGS GO SOUTH
Ok, ok, I know no one wants to talk about the possibility of breaking up, but you have to protect yourself just in case. You never know and it's better safe than sorry. Make sure your name is on the lease. Have an agreement of how long you have to move out if you break up, which items are yours if you purchased them together, what happens to the pets if you got one while living together, etc. It's not the most romantic part of moving in, but it needs to be done just in case.
THE MONEY TALK
The topic of money and finances is always a tricky and awkward one, but if you plan on moving in together, it's going to happen. I will say, growing up in my family, the topic of finances and money was always such an open dinner table topic that I just got used and comfortable discussing it, but I know that's not always the case for people.
Here are a few things to consider:
- How are you going to pay for rent, bills, and expenses? Are you going to split it?
- What's your budget? How much are you wanting to spend on rent?
- Are you going to combine your finances?
- How are you going to handle shared expenses such as groceries and household items?
- Are you going to split the cost of furniture or split up who contributes what?
ARGUMENTS WILL HAPPEN AND HOW TO HANDLE THEM
For some reason, the topic of couples arguing in a relationship seems so taboo. Couples argue it happens, it's normal and quite frankly healthy. Now, if you're constantly arguing at all hours of the day and it's getting toxic... that's a different story. But, back to healthy arguments. There will be times you will disagree with one another and if you're like me, you no longer can hop into your car and drive home to your apartment and cool off.
What I've learned is communication is key. Do you need to take a minute and cool off before taking it out? Do you need it to be resolved right then and there? Once Christian and I learned how each other likes to cope during heated arguments, resolving them got a little easier. What I also think that's helped us was when we first decide to live together we made a ground rule of making sure we resolve our issue/arguments before we go to sleep. Nothing is worse than navigating a shared space and trying to ignore each other.
PRIVACY WILL NOW BE A THING OF THE PAST
Don't get me wrong, essentially having a sleepover together every night is fun and all, but gone are the days where you can run and lock yourself in your room after a long stressful day. Mine now becomes ours and the only privacy you really have now is going to the bathroom. Especially with quarantine, we've both been spending a lot of time at home and we tend to butt heads here and there with being around each other so much. It's important to still be mindful of each other's space and give them time to be alone every now and then.
YOU HAVE TO KEEP ACTIVELY DATING EACH OTHER
Sounds weird, I know. I mean, you're moving in together so you obviously like each other, but keeping up the romance is trickier than you may think. You get comfortable, your Saturday nights out become movie nights in, and the only time they see you each other looking decent is when they come home from work. It's important to keep dating each other and plan for date nights outside of the house. It'll prevent you from making your relationship go stale.
YOU'LL LEARN A LOT ABOUT EACH OTHER
Good or bad, you'll learn a lot about each other once you live together. How they deal with stress, their little quirks, bad habits, etc. For some this experience can be an eye-opening experience that makes them realize they are maybe not the best fit for each other in the long run while for others this will make them grow stronger together.
Whew, I think that about covers the good gist of it! Making the decision to live together is an exciting phase in a relationship, but it is important to know all of the factors beforehand to properly prepare and plan things out to avoid potential bumps in the road. I hope you all have found this helpful and let me know down below if you live with your significant other as well as any tips you may have! Be sure to follow me on Instagram to see more peeks into our day to day life living together.
I hope you all have a great week and as always, thank you for reading!
xoxo,
Amy
